Endless Thoughts;

will they never sleep?

I'm babysitting again tonight; my cousins again as well. However, tonight there seems to be a lack of wanting to fall asleep, or even to set foot in the direction of their bedrooms. There's crying and whining and the attempts to negotiate, but talking to the queen of negotiating gives them little progress.

I cannot understand why they are so grumpy. Long day? Hard time with punishments? Restless? I'm not quite sure which one it is, but I know that it is one of those. She came from a party, and he is just tired. I hate that I have to raise my voice to get them to listen. I feel like the mean babysitter who is no fun, but just because I'm fun, doesn't mean I can't enforce the rules when necessary.

It's bed time, and they are in their rooms, I keep wondering whether he isn't telling the truth about not peeing his pants (trust me, I keep checking, and so far, we're okay). But he's supposed to be potty-training, and he can go in the bathroom, but he lies about going in his pants when he knows he has... he just doesn't want to make the effort. She on the other hand, comes up with excuses to eat the good food. "But I didn't have ANY pizza at the party, OR cake!" Well, I'm sorry dear, that is your problem, not mine. The deal is, yohgurt or cheese strings, end of story. But there is the whining and the pleading to sit in the rolly-chair. The pre-teen drama queen mood sets in and I feel like I'm babysitting myself at a younger age, accept the means I would accept to compromising are just not there. It's like an endless battle that you can't win.

She's also going through a time where she wants to be like the older kids. Wear what they wear, do what they do. It's sooooo cool, or at least to her. Get to this age and getting a job is a nightmare and dealing with cash just means more debts and issues that you can't solve. She has a purse and she walks around like a teenager, slouching and taking bedtime as if it's the end of the world (although teenagers gladly accept the chance to sleep, you get what I'm saying). She walks with attitude, and at that age, I never did, attitude came when you were 12; 10 at the earliest, not 6.

I was asked by her tonight if I had a car or a cellphone. The answer "no, I don't" came as a shock to her, mostly for the cellphone. When I told her I didn't need one, she gave me the look as if her whole preception on teenagers and the teen-years was a giant lie. I almost felt bad, but not as much as it gave her the idea that she doesn't have to follow the majority crowd and just hop on the bandwagon.

At this point in time, I sit on the couch, bumming off someone else's internet signals, and type a blog while I hope the kids are falling asleep. I've noticed, the more they think you care about it, the more they try and stay up. I try to ignore them util I think they are asleep, and then check. It's left to a game of "I can't sleep because..." and hopefully, they're too tired for games.

posted by Emily @ 8:38 PM